Lady Gaga is “lucky to be alive” after a mental health crisis that pushed her to the brink before therapy and the support of her fiancé helped her recover, RadarOnline.com can reveal.
The singer and actress, 39, born Stefani Germanotta, has spoken openly about panic attacks on her current Mayhem Ball tour and the breakdown that led her to cancel an earlier world tour and seek psychiatric care.
In a new interview, she recounted years of instability that unfolded while she was releasing chart-topping albums, starring in films such as A Star Is Born and House of Gucci and winning awards.
The revelations have prompted sources close to the production of her tour and music to express relief she survived the worst moments of her struggle.
Gaga said: “There was one day that my sister said to me, ‘I don’t see my sister anymore.’ And I canceled the tour.”
She added: “There was one day I went to the hospital for psychiatric care. I needed to take a break. I couldn’t do anything… I completely crashed. It was really scary. There was a time where I didn’t think I could get better…. I feel really lucky to be alive.
“I know that might sound dramatic, but we know how this can go.”
Those around her now say the crisis had been escalating for years.
One source said: “People forget how fragile she was behind the scenes. She was working through trauma, exhaustion, and pressure that would have broken anyone. Looking back, it scares us. She came close to losing herself.”
Gaga also revealed her mental health affected major professional milestones, saying: “I did A Star Is Born on lithium,” and describing the panic attacks that now accompany the dramatic opening of her shows.
“I see all the fans,” she said, “and I’m in this big dress, and the music is so loud and it’s very dramatic… and for 90 seconds, I have to talk myself out of a panic attack.”
Gaga, who says she also had to cope with the trauma of being raped aged 19, said at her lowest ebb she was smoking weed all day and downing two bottles of wine daily.
According to a source, these moments reflect how much she has learned to manage her health.
“The fact that she can stand on that stage at all is extraordinary,” the insider said.
“She got herself into therapy, fell in love and has rebuilt herself piece by piece. A few years ago, none of us were sure she would make it to this point.” Her relationship with her fiancé, Michael Polansky, 42, played a crucial role in her recovery.
Gaga said: “Being in love with someone that cares about the real me made a very big difference,” calling the entrepreneur’s support central to her recovery.
Another source familiar with her recent work said: “He grounded her. She needed someone who saw Stefani, not the global brand. Without that stability, I don’t know if she would have found her way back.”
After years of detours and instability, Gaga says she has finally reclaimed her artistic identity, culminating in her album Mayhem.
“It was months and months and months of rediscovering everything that I’d lost,” she said.
“And I honestly think that’s why it’s called Mayhem. Because what it took to get it back was crazy.”
