The year is 2021, and the person I envy most is Tom from Myspace.
Tom from Myspace is somewhat of a BuzzFeed legend.
He’s been featured in approximately 792 BuzzFeed lists.
He’s essentially, for lack of better words, millennials’ “first friend.”
One thing millennials like to joke about is Myspace.
But you can make fun of Myspace all you want, because Myspace Tom is living the dream.
This was his bio a few years ago:
Yup, he retired in his thirties.
Mark Mainz / Getty Images
In his retirement, he’s also picked up surfing, design, and investing. He may or may not be currently in retirement, but he is certainly “living the good life.”
Now, let’s talk about how he spent the 2010s.
Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images
Tom spent his 2010s — aka his retirement — traveling around the world taking pictures.
One time, he even tweeted about buying a car in Italy and the rules for taking it into other countries in the EU.
Europeans! If I buy a car in Italy, can I drive it in any EU country without additional paperwork, border control, or insurance hassle?
Twitter: @myspacetom
Now, let’s talk about his photography.
Over the years, he has shared pictures from caves in Iceland:
He’s taken to the skies over the Philippines:
Myspace Tom has probably had the best 2010s out of everyone.
I’m most envious about Myspace Tom because he has essentially disappeared from all social media for the past two years.
Charley Gallay / Getty Images
He has popped up once or twice for a word or two.
Jason Laveris / FilmMagic / Getty Images
One of his most iconic responses was to this viral tweet about how Myspace never sold our data, tried to influence elections, or in general did anything problematic.
Remember Tom? Remember how he just sold his $500m share in myspace and retired so he could have a nice life? He never sold our data, never tried to influence elections, never lobbied against privacy legislations… what a man. Myspace was just too pure for this world.
Twitter: @JackDMurphy
To which Tom came out of retirement with a simple reply:
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