Since March 2020, I’ve noticed that my “type” has drastically changed.
Before COVID, I found my tastes mostly oscillating between Kronk-like h*mbos and bar*stas with tortoiseshell glasses and strong brand loyalties to Carhartt. But now……..
……IT’S ALL SETH ROGEN, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
British GQ / Danielle Levitt
Of course, it’s also these new pics from British GQ that cause my mind to wander, uh…elsewhere.
British GQ / Danielle Levitt
*cue Seth Rogen nervous laugh*
In this case, elsewhere is a moss-laden garden where I innocently stumble upon Seth Rogen and he asks me if I would like to watercolor with him and I say yes and then we kiss a little bit. It’s very innocent, yet tender, and I feel so safe???
Like, literally name ONE MAN who, if he invited you back to your house to look at his ?“CERAMIC VASES”?, you’d feel safe with. I’LL GO FIRST:
Also, in this video for British GQ, ✨Seth✨ says he just washed his hair with soap until recently, and usually I’d totally bully a guy for that, but with ✨Seth✨, I’m like……into it?
British GQ / youtube.com
It’s like I’m lowering my hygienic standards but ✨raising my vibrations✨, ya know?
Like, you just KNOW this man smells like peppermint Dr. Bronner’s and the Devil’s side salad. And I would like to experience it!
I’m sorry, but JUST LOOK AT THIS LIL’ DIMPLED RAY OF SUNSHINE. I think we should kiss and see if we like it…….???
This may be too much of an escalation, but @Seth Rogen, PLEASE SWADDLE ME IN ONE OF YOUR MANY CASHMERE CARDIGANS AND [REDACTED] MY [REDACTED] UNTIL IT’S THE CONSISTENCY OF SILLY PUTTY AND YOU [REDACTED] ALL OVER THE VASES BELOW!!!!!!!!!
Anywho, while ultimately I know it wouldn’t work between us because Seth and I are both Aries suns with Earth moons (and because he’s married to a lovely lady, of course), I can’t help but lust after the my unproblematic king/Weed Daddy™.
British GQ / Danielle Levitt
I love you, Seth. Thank you for being you, and thank you for your contributions to society, ceramics, the cannabis industry, and for these new thirst traps. YOU are ***THEE*** moment, and you deserve EVERY LAST DROP OF OUR THIRST, KING!!!!!!! ??✨
See the full feature in the May issue of British GQ available via digital download and on newsstands Thursday, April 1st!!!!!!
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